SAYING THANK YOU

ESR Worship, 10/30/02
Bill Ratliff

Over the years I have seen parents telling their child to say thank you when something is given to the child. I resisted that at first, thinking that it might be a bit coercive—of course, this says nothing about my own childhood! …

But recently I have begun to see the value of it; because I think one of the marks of the Christian life is gratitude. The Psalms is full of giving thanks to God. “Let us come into God’s presence with thanksgiving,” says the 95^th Psalm. Rather than a sacrifice of goats and oxen, Psalm 50 has God stating, “Offer me a sacrifice of thanksgiving instead. . . (vs 14a). We read the wonderful 100^th Psalm from The Inclusive Psalms for our Call to Worship.

The NT continues the theme. Two of my favorite passages are the following:

I Thessalonians 5:16 – 18 enjoins us to “Rejoice always, pray constantly, and give thanks for everything—for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Just how to rejoice always and pray constantly and give thanks for everything is an ongoing enterprise for most of us! The one that speaks to me most occurs in verse 6 of the 2^nd chapter of Colossians that is printed in the Order of Worship: “Send your roots deep and grow strong in Christ—firmly established in the faith you’ve been taught, and full of thanksgiving.”

So, children need to be taught to say thank you, as a way perhaps of practicing what they may not yet feel, since we all begin as self-centered little creatures. But the feeling can follow the behavior and hopefully will connect at some point as we mature. We can grow up saying thank you; and we can grow old continuing to say thank you. For gratitude is an attribute that helps us grow old gracefully, I believe.

Margaret Kornfeld, in the book we are currently reading in Intro to Pastoral Care, states that “Thanksgiving is at the heart of worship. . . . and we do not remember to be grateful when we are anxious. Yet, paradoxically, a grateful heart quiets anxiety (p. 88)”

I don’t know if you have experienced this, but when I say thank you, a weight is lifted, I am lighter, I stand up straighter and see the world around me rather than preoccupied and weighed down with the responsibilities of the day. It cleanses our soul and body of toxins.

Phillip Moffitt states that “Practicing mindfulness of gratitude consistently leads to a direct experience of being connected to life and the realization that there is a larger context in which your personal story if unfolding. Being relieved of the endless wants and worries of your life’s drama, even temporarily, is liberating. Cultivating thankfulness for being part of life blossoms into a feeling of being blessed, not in the sense of winning the lottery, but in a more refined appreciation for the interdependent nature of life. It also elicits feelings of generosity, which create further joy. Gratitude can soften a heart that has become too guarded, and it builds the capacity for forgiveness, which creates the clarity of mind that is ideal for spiritual development. (“Selfless Gratitude”, Yoga Journal, 61.)

Gratitude reminds us who we are: interdependent creatures, made by God, given life each day by God, and dependent on gifts of the planet and other people for daily sustenance. In remembering who we are, we are re-membered, with our various parts put together in to some kind of whole.

Saying thank you means that I see the world as gift—rather than obligation, or burden, or continuing tasks to be accomplished. A real gift comes from the outside; it meets our need, whether we are aware of our need or not; it is something that comes without our having to earn it. And while we wish we could repay it, our most appropriate response is “Thank you.”

The Gospel is all about gift—unmerited, full of grace, from God. To accept this incredible gift from God is to live all of life with gratitude and joy. The word “gratitude” and the word “grace” come from the same Latin word, “gratus”, meaning “pleasing” or “thankful.”

Now, this attitude of gratitude does not deny difficulties and pain and the terrible tragedies that occur every day. I have been so aware of the fear and anxiety of the Washington, DC area during the last three weeks, since my son-in-law is a police officer, and we were visiting there over mid-semester break. The people shot and killed is a tragedy for them, their families, for all the people in the area who hunkered down during this time, and for us all. And such tragedies occur around the globe even now as we speak. I am NOT grateful for those things. And being grateful does not lessen the dark side.

But being grateful is a way of living that affirms that light is deeper than darkness, that God is stronger than any tragedy and any evil. Gratitude can be the ground out of which we deal with the darkness. To be grateful gives us energy to deal with the hard stuff and can give us trust that we will come through. Gratitude opens us up, while anxiety and worry pull our body inward and tenses us up.

There is a shadow side to gratitude, as to everything else that we touch. The comment, “I suppose I should be grateful for what happened or for what I have”, comes from a hopeless/helpless place, or perhaps from a position of guilt. “I suppose I should be thankful that I got second place” may mean that we feel some envy or anger that we don’t feel comfortable in expressing. That is not deep gratitude. And neither is the prayer of the Pharisee, “I thank you, Lord, that I am not like those sinners, like the supporters of the war on Iraq, or those people who slander homosexuals.”

I invite us to consider this morning our gratitude ratio. There are always difficult things going on in our lives—that’s part of what it means to be alive. But there are also good things. We in this room are mostly idealists and perfectionists; we want the world and ourselves to be better or we wouldn’t be here. These wonderful qualities can also lead us to focusing on the things we need to work on and forget the positives. Moffitt states that “There will always be things wrong in your life, so you reduce your experience of being alive if you are only responding to the negative.” And I would add that responding only to the negative put our life out of balance, which then gets reflected in our bodies, our emotions, and our souls.

During recent years, I have been increasingly aware of my own gratitude. At least once a day I find myself thanking God for another day to live and enjoy, for the health I have, and for meaningful work, for family and friends. Especially during this last year at ESR, I am deeply aware of my profound gratitude for the gift of being invited to teach here. Shortly after I first came here, I wrote a friend and expressed my amazement that I was being paid to read! Now teaching is more than that, as I have learned. But I have been permitted to do what fills my soul, and I am grateful. Being able to teach 18 years here is a true gift, and I continue to love to teach and work in this place.

So thank you to this School,

to Tom Mullen who was Dean and called me on the night that my younger daughter was graduating from high school to offer me a teaching position,

and to Wil Cooper and others who took a risk in starting ESR

and to those who have studied and taught here over the years

and to the staff who have kept the place running smoothly and buildings cleaned and maintained.

and to the ones who support this place financially and with their time and energy.

And I thank God for each of you in this room. Without you, there would be no ESR.

How do I say thank you?

Perhaps a smile, a nod of the head,

A handshake, or an arm around the shoulder.

Perhaps by living differently and praying differently

And even telling a joke every now and then—maybe even a bawdy one!

By laughing out loud and stomping my foot and clapping my hands,

Or perhaps by reviewing the good stuff while sitting silently.

Maybe by sharing my positive energy with others

and receiving their positive energy in return.

By enjoying life to the fullest and living every minute of every day.

By dancing to the music and singing full-throated some times;

And joining in unprogrammed worship at others.

By affirming it is an amazing, grace-filled, wonder-upon-wonder journey.

And at the end, saying out loud “Thank you, God.”

Let us send our roots deep, grow strong, and be full of thanksgiving.